Saturday, December 08, 2007

Guilty until innocent

My wonderful employer has implimented a new eligibility verification process. Translation = You must prove that the people flying on your passes and entitled to your benefits are actually who you say they are, ie; parents, children, spouses, domestic partners, bedmates. So, In remaining consistent with the red tape propaganda, we are all (ALL 60,000 + employees) to send in a ridiculous collection of proof. I recently sent in a copy of my birth certificate and my mother's marriage certificate, to verify my Stepfathers right to fly, and no surprise, received a response that this documentation was "insufficient". Listed (and this is no joke) on the letter of requested additional docs states "copy of employee's birth certificate, final adoption papers if adopted before 18, baptismal certificate (Highly Christian-centric), or an affadavit verifying the relationship from a physician, estate planner or clergyman.

Considering that I have walked the line on discipline and have a less than spotless work history, I am trying to resist the temptation to send them in the provided envelope a baby tooth, Q-tip with my DNA, a crayoned picture from Kindergarten, and a poloroid of my mom and I from 1982, just to reinforce the fact that she is eligible for my passes. What makes this even sillier is that she has been on my eligible benefits list since I began with this Scairline 8 years ago. There. Now I feel better!